Sound Track of my Life

Van Halen, “Jamie’s Cryin’” : Listening to Van Halen voices, was the same sound I heard for years. When I was little I used to cry a lot and so, like a good sibling, my brother, Corey, took advantage of this weakness of mine, and would “sing”, in a mocking tone, “Oh oh oh, Jamie’s cryin’,” over and over again, just to agitate me even if I wasn’t crying but especially if I was. He would wrinkle up his face and make sure that it seemed as though he, too, were crying. The burning tears would trickle down; the hot surface, bright red from frustration skewing all coordination and vision, making it hard to yell directly at the perpetrator or even try and throw a few punches.

The vibration from the sound waves of all the “singing” and screaming sent the tears flying to the ground and this would continue until either my brother or I stopped yelling or mom or dad would come running to scold both parties for whatever was going on. Each side of the argument was wrong in a way so each was punished, either by quiet time (time out) in the corner, where imagination became a best friend, or in your room, a better option, where there was a bed and toys. No matter how much trouble both my brother and I got into, for pestering one another, we could still come up with something to harass the other about in the blink of an eye; it just depended on which side we wanted to fight on. This song will forever be in my memory of my brother, not only because he mocked me with it, but because it always makes me go back to my childhood and relive those crazy days.

Survivor, “Eye of the Tiger” : Rocky’s theme song, Eye of the Tiger is one of the most, if not the most, listened to song by athletes. It is a great pump up song and perfect for all sports. When working out or getting ready for a race, “Eye of the Tiger” is always on the list, especially when swimming. In the humid room the pool was ridden with pee, sweat and occasionally a little puke from the workout. Although the pool deck at Lincoln Northeast High school was blistering hot, the water itself, was below the legal swimming temperature, a whapping fifty or so degrees. Core drills were done on the pool’s cracking tile floor; which were yellow and brown from the years of wear and tear, with no mats, while “Another bites the dust” and “Eye of the Tiger” played in the background. Two a day practices left each swimmer in the pool for five or more hours a day.

“Punches” to get better were thrown everyday in practice for a closer shot at victory and to prove ones worth. At state swim meets, boys shaved their heads because it is tradition to let your hair grow during season and then chop it off for state, not to mention, how much faster you could go without hair. This ritual, also includes the girl’s leg hair. (I think I got up to an inch of hair one year!) The crazy things one will do for that one chance at victory, that one date with greatness. Swimming was my life for four months of my life every year and I did everything in my power to become the best that I could be. Survivor’s, “Eye of the Tiger” always made me feel more powerful and always let me know that sometimes you have to throw punches over and over again to make dreams happen.

Sister Sledge, “We are Family” : The Sledge Sisters vibrant red outfits shout out fun and their moves are even better! The gray town backdrop, against their dresses, screams party and that is exactly what I think about when I watch their video. “We are Family; I got all my sisters with me”. This is a traditional song, ALWAYS played at all our family’s wedding receptions. Great Cousin Carrie calls the song up to the DJ in her wild scratchy voice, and then the clapping begins as shouts of joy and “YA HOOs” are heard from all around the room; everyone gets up to dance. Somewhere in the middle of the song, the Conga Line begins and the whole room even the old folds are following one after the other, hands on shoulders and legs a kickin’.

As the end of the song comes closer, everyone splits up and dances around each other, no one with one person too long for everyone has to dance with everyone at least once, and with at least 40 people, everyone moves fast. When the dancing continues, one song to the next, the intensity just grows. When I say that my family dances, I use the term dance lightly, for the smooth moves the Sledge Sisters were doing are some of the same moves that my family still uses making every wedding a night to remember, especially for the newlyweds. Two fifty year old men dancing "frisky" together is a sight to behold. A wedding reception for our family just wouldn’t be a wedding reception without the butt shaking, arm rolling, laugh out loud hot dance moves that my family provides. The resemblance to the moves of the Sledge Sisters is uncanny.

Alan Jackson, “Remember When” : In the background of Jackson singing, are clips and photos of a young couple in love that along with the song, tell the story of their life together through thick and thin. Allan Jackson’s love story portrays the way I feel about my current boyfriend and the way in which my life is headed for both him and I. Images of past events and things remembered are featured in photographs.

The picture most important to me is of the family I have made, my boyfriend, Matt, me, and my daughter, Ava. It is crisp and glossy as it is not too old, and no dust covers it. The memories the picture holds is worth more than I own in sentimental value. The picture tells unconscious thoughts and pushes feelings and words upon lips. The photograph, tells stories of relieved burden and joyous celebration for the birth of my daughter, Ava. It relays the path to future love and happiness and is a binding memory of cherish able triumph over obstacles of both physical and mental anguish that the adoption brought forth. It is the one memory, I will always hold dear, and the photograph brings about the story, the story of my life with Matt and of Ava. In this picture, Matt and I are in comfy clothes, ready for a long day of taking care of our baby, who is looking up at us and is smiling. These images in Jackson’s video remind me of the future I hope to make and the pictures I will take to remember the love I felt then and will hopefully continue to feel in the future.

ZZ Top, “Cheap Sunglasses” : Top’s stylin’ cheap sunglasses shine when they sing, while he adds their hot dance moves. The rhythm is excitingly upbeat and lets us know that ZZ Top is proud of their sunglasses. The sunglasses remind me of all the pairs of sunglasses that I have been through in the last four years from life guarding, from letting people borrow them, losing them, or breaking them in a rescue and the adrenaline and overall fun atmosphere at work.

My sunglasses are fake Oakley’s or “Foakley’s.” The frame is a black, thin structure and the lenses themselves are a mixture of green and yellow, depending on how the light shines. On the hinge of the sunglasses are multiple layers of scotch tape, which blocks all peripheral vision, yet my sunglasses have seen more than anyone; they have seen tears and sweat but most of all, water. They have seen the distressed swimmer, flailing their arms and kicking their legs as they fly through the air and crash into the water for a save. They have seen the rushing guards and the bug-eyed patrons as the victims are safely pulled out of the water and placed on the ground, while passer bys are rushed to the grass. Not only have sunglasses seen bad times but good; the guards playing in the water, lifeguard Olympics, pranks and overall joy at Woods Pool. My cheap sunglasses have been through it all with me. I lose them after every flight but regain another new, cheap pair for other adventures to come.

Carrie Underwood, “Jesus Take the Wheel” : Between cuts of Carrie Underwood singing in different rooms, this video puts in clips of a young white girl with her newborn baby, a married couple and an old man and his assumed to be, wife. The young girl with the newborn presents the viewer with the feeling of lost hope as the girl stands there with the baby in her arms, with her pale skin and dark circles around her eyes. I felt lost a year ago when I experienced an unplanned pregnancy and didn’t know where to turn, just like the cradle that sways back and forth, tumbling in confusion. There are nicks that can’t be smoothed and noises that cannot seize. The blankets give it comfort but don’t suffice the pain. It squeaks and cries for help not getting anywhere.

The girl is tired and has no more chances but to give her problem to Jesus. The lyrics, “Jesus, take the wheel. Take it from my hands. Cause I can’t do this on my own,” speak to lives at wits end, letting faith seep back in. These words make the cradle stop swaying, and the tears dry up from the young girl’s eyes. The dark clears and the light shines, with hope on her face. Without God and my faith (Catholicism), I would have never made it through my pregnancy, and if I had, who knows what choice I would have made and had to live with for the rest of my life. As Underwood sings, “ I know I’ve got to change so from now on tonight, Jesus take the wheel.”

Martina McBride, “In My Daughter’s Eyes” : McBride uses her video as a live performance, with the lights down. Tiny dots of light resembling stars are in the background and her video is live to show her love and passion for the words she speaks. This song reminds me of my daughter and the way she looked at me the first moment I saw her. Babies are born with no flaws, and look at others as though they are the same; pure. “ …brings a smile to my heart…realize what life is all about…hanging on when I feel like giving up…seen the light… in my daughter’s eyes.”

Ava looked up, swaddled in a blanket with a pink woven cap keeping her head warm and was placed in loving arms, making no judgments, knowing no fear. The light from St. Elizabeth’s Hospital shown brightly in her eyes and crying took place from all around. Fragile and innocent she was. Her eyes were the color of the roaring ocean, her nose a pink button and her hair so fine that it was barely visible. All the influential people in her life equally perfect to her. Life in general was, at that moment, perfect. The world is better with the ones who make all life worth living even in times of despair. Those who make one believe, who give strength and make everything good. There was only unconditional love in Ava’s eyes as she grasped at hands, and smiled, making the entire world a better place to live. There is nothing but heart in a child, no anger or sorrow, regret or grudge, just a life of new beginnings. My daughter is everything that I live and strive for. She will always love me no matter what, and I her.

Kelly Clarkson, “Miss Independent” : Kelly is presented in what appears to be college dorm rooms where she walks through and shows up to gatherings, otherwise known as parties. The dorm rooms are full of people, music, games, and laughter. Clothes are on the floor with everything scattered about. Clarkson is finally on her own; independent and free. I have joined this life of no rules and have developed my long waited freedom. I have entered the world of parties and inhibition, chance taking and experimentation. I have entered into dorm rooms where dirty clothes and late nights are a must. I entered college life at Nebraska Wesleyan University.

The cramped rooms and rotten food (macaroni and cheese, ramen noodles) make home feel like paradise. The heat and cold are always off balance as sweaters and t-shirts are changed hourly and a time to relax is unheard of. Life is so busy that getting time in peace or even time alone is not an option.
Waking up last minute and running to class is an everyday ritual as is eating wth the same people everyday at lunch and dinner. Life is lived in a small corner, the dorm room. Freedom does come at a price, but it is freedom none the less and a chance to be self-sufficient. This brings up the question as to why I was so apt to leave my home behind, where life was simple, and my laundry was done and hot, fresh, homemade food was served? Why did I rush to grow up? I wanted, like every other kid, to grow up. And grow up, I did, but way too fast.